How To Co-Parent During The Holidays With More Harmony After A Divorce

As of this writing, it’s already the holiday season, so implementing some of these tips might be too late for end-of-year festivities. However, there’s always another holiday around the corner, be it Valentine’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day weekend, etc. With this in mind, it’s never too late (or too early) to have an actionable plan that you and the other parent can implement to foster a happier relationship for all parties involved, especially the child’s. At HarmonyLaw.com, we understand the holidays are a delicate time, capable of magnifying already difficult emotions to process. 

Create a Holiday Schedule Now

Establishing a clear holiday schedule well in advance can help avoid last-minute disputes and ensure a smoother holiday season. Alternating holidays is one of the simplest yet most effective strategies for fostering greater harmony between co-parents. For example, give the co-parent the choice of holiday they would like to spend with the child. (The more magnanimous you are, the more cooperative the other parent will likely be.) If the other parent wants Christmas Day this year, they should agree to let you spend Christmas Eve with the child. The same goes for Thanksgiving to Christmas, New Year’s Day to Martin Luther King Jr. Day, etc. 

Additionally, the parenting plan should document that, for instance, if you take Christmas this year, the other parent gets the holiday the following year.

Ideally, the co-parents can agree on splitting holidays so the child(ren) can spend time with both parents on the same day. Figure out who will get the “morning and evening” shift.

If splitting holidays is impossible, another option is to celebrate the holiday on different days. Who says Christmas has to be celebrated only on Dec. 25? If the co-parent gets Christmas Day this year, you can celebrate the holiday with your child on an adjacent day. Two Christmases in one week? Your child will love it.

To avoid misunderstandings, document the agreed schedule in writing. If disputes arise, consulting with a HarmonyLaw.com attorney can help establish a fair arrangement that prioritizes the children’s best interests.

Communicate Through A Parenting App

Like any other time of year, things can come up. People get sick. Emergencies arise. However, when unexpected events impact the co-parenting process, it can be tempting to let emotions get the best of you. That’s why it’s essential to effectively communicate with neutral-tone messaging using a parenting app. Parenting apps provide documentation to the family court should the custody battle go to trial. Remember to keep discussions focused on logistics and your children’s needs while maintaining respectful boundaries. If communication with the other parent becomes a significant challenge, a Harmony Law attorney can advocate for your interests, draft legally enforceable holiday agreements, and, if necessary, pursue court intervention to ensure your rights and your children’s well-being are upheld.

Make The Holidays About the Kids

The holidays should remain a joyful time for children, even amidst custody battles. Focus on creating positive memories and keeping the season special for them. For example, collaborating on gift-giving with the other parent through a co-parenting app can help avoid purchasing duplicate gifts. Parents can also use the app to agree on the number of gifts to be purchased and establish a shared budget. This approach can prevent potential resentment, where one parent might feel undermined if the other overspends on lavish gifts while they stick to modest ones. Although unequal gift-giving does not meet the legal definition of parental alienation, it may foster resentment. 

If one parent is out of town during an important holiday (or event), the co-parents should collaborate through the app about scheduling a phone or video call so that the remote parent can stay connected to the child. 

Remember, just as the holidays can be stressful for adults, they can be equally tense for children when parental conflicts are involved. Creating a holiday co-parenting calendar and adopting these tips will help foster a more joyous holiday season for your children.

Don’t Forget About You 

Finally, if the holidays are emotionally draining, take time for yourself. Get out in nature. Meditate. Journal. Gather with support groups, friends or family. 

The holiday season can be emotionally taxing, particularly when family dynamics shift. Taking time for self-care is crucial to staying grounded and being present for your children. And accept, as difficult as it may be, that the holidays will differ from past years. But don’t despair; some joy will be found. 

Harmony Law Can Help 

At Harmony Law, our compassionate and experienced attorneys help you create solutions that work for your family.

Whether you need guidance on holiday scheduling, mediation, or legal representation, we’re just a phone call away.

Let this holiday season be a step toward healing and harmony.

Reach out to Harmony Law today for personalized support that puts your family first. We offer top-tier representation at an affordable price.